CONFUSION

“There is something happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear” – the lyrics of the Buffalo Springfield tune are playing in my head over and over again. Umm – yes, and that’s where the ‘something’ is happening; in my head.

I’m having a devil of a time to complete my accounting work. My brain seems to just shut down and, try as I might, I need to get up and walk away for a bit before it comes alive again.

It’s the weirdest thing! I can read, write, cook, clean or do a zillion other tasks without a problem. As soon as I pick up papers with numbers or log into my accounting program, the light begins to dim. It doesn’t take long before a curtain comes down and I am mentally unable to continue. The screen (and I’m not talking about my computer here) goes totally blank. Attempting to force my attention only produces errors that I pick up on later. ARRG!

It has been going on for some time now, but is getting worse. Presently I’m lucky if I can get an hour in before the noggin zaps out. I’ve been searching for answers on the internet and in books, have done concentration tests, etc., but am still without an answer. I very rarely take medication, don’t do drugs, there is not excessive alcohol, I’ve been in menopause for ages, I eat well and take my vitamins, just going up and downstairs in my house and walking the doggies gives me plenty of physical exercise....and the list goes on. What’s more, the lack of focus only occurs when I touch accounting.

Could it be an overdose? I’ve never really enjoyed this type of work, but have always found it relatively easy to do and understand. Now it seems to have turned the tables. It doesn’t enjoy me either. I’ve been wondering if it’s not because I’m just heartily sick of it. Of course, I feel the same way about housework too, but that doesn’t stop me from keeping my house clean (enough).

Maybe I should seriously contemplate a career change? The fact is, if this craziness continues, I’ll have no choice, and in the shortest delay possible too! It’s not fair to my clients, or to my personal mental health. Any suggestion to clarify my situation is welcome - except for banging my head on the wall a few times to knock some sense into it. That I won’t do. I’m not good at repairing drywall.

I wonder if there are any paying jobs where one just has to SMILE? That I can do....and, of course, am sharing it with you.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec