AN UPDATE

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Wow. I’m beat. That Jacuzzi is going to feel so-o-o nice once I get into it!!

Before I succumb to those lovely jets and bubbles, I wanted to give you the good news…or rather…the better of two possibly bad news. My brother’s second head scan shows a mass, but nothing shining around it. This leads the doctor to believe that it was a small stroke, and not the spread of cancer, which caused the paralysis in his arm. They have added heart pills to his array of medicines, and he is to take aspirin every day besides. His arm is moving a little, but he cannot close his fingers, and has no control of his wrist. There will be therapy sessions scheduled, and a home care nurse to come in and evaluate his needs. The doctors from both hospitals are sharing information, so we should have the results of the biopsy this week too.

I brought him home today, and friends are rallying around to help out. Fran was preparing a meal for him when I left to his place, and others will look in on him later. He is quite content to sleep in his own bed tonight!

Grump is pouting on the couch because I just don’t have the energy to take a walk with him tonight. He’ll get over it.

I’ll be back tomorrow to read the posts I’ve missed. There is just nothing sinking in right now; my brain has shifted to neutral again.

With that I send you a sleepy SMILE, folks! May you all have sweet dreams…or at least some wild funny ones!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

MORE OF THE SAME

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My state of mind was not favorable for dealing with the intricacies of the accounting world. In other words, I was just skimming, and probably wasting valuable time. Frustrated, I decided to meet Malcolm and Dawna earlier than planned, get the new program on its way, then head home, where I could supervise my grandson’s moving furniture around later in the evening. I left the office before rush hour, and thankfully, was only a 10 minute drive away when my brother called my cell phone. There was a problem, he told me. He hadn’t been able to move his left arm since 8 AM that morning. He had waited, hoping it was just temporary, then had finally contacted the doctor, who told him to get to the nearest hospital, STAT! Once again all speed limits were ignored.

There was no waiting at the hospital this time. They whisked him into the emergency area, and after doing preliminary tests, he was sent for a head scan. A swelling of the brain, the doctor told me, but it’s not bleeding. “You see?” my brother quipped. “I do have a brain”

They are not sure if it was a stroke, or if his lung cancer has metastasized into that area already. Once again he was hooked up to beeping machines, and this time he didn’t complain about having to stay there. They were to do a second scan in the morning.

He was too weak to be transferred to the city hospital the next day for his results of the lung biopsy. When I called, the specialist there asked to have the reading of both scans faxed to him. He wouldn’t give me any information on the phone; my brother is over 18, and conscious, so there’s the privacy thing. As before…we wait.

I had, of course, contacted my children to let them know what was happening. Their Uncle Bird is a much loved part of our family. It was late when I finally left the hospital. I was pulling out of the parking lot when my cell rang again, and the number showed it was a call from my house. I was surprised to hear my daughter’s voice – what was she doing there? Not wanting to make things worse until my brother was settled down, she had waited to give me more bad news. Some pipes in my downstairs apartment had dislodged from the valves, and my grandson had arrived to find 4 inches of water all over the floor. He was attempting to mop it up when the bathroom ceiling tiles fell down on his head. He wasn’t hurt, only very wet! There would be no water until the next day, when we could obtain the necessary materials and tools to do the repairs. The bathroom was in shambles, and will need extensive renovations. It seems the water had been leaking most of the day.

I was too numb to react, other than think that If it was going to happen, it was better to be now instead of next Wednesday night, when I’ll be preparing for my colonoscopy exam the following day. We all know the type of procedure THAT entails and it is no time to be without running water!

From reading other blogs, I see it has been one hell of a week for many of us. I wonder if this has anything to do with that beautiful full moon we were gushing about the other day? I got home too late to see the HABS play last night, but from what I hear, both they, and the Wings, have been having a rotten time of it too! Ah well, my mother did tell me there would be days like this.

I need to get to the office now; life does go on. The sun is out there, and I saw one lone Canadian goose wind its way across the sky this morning, honking the ‘Spring is coming’ message, and it made me SMILE. I’ve been receiving your SMILES too, grabbing them out of the air as they show up, so let’s continue the boomerang effect – mine is n its way back to you!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

PROCRASTINATING....

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Hospitals are not geared for an enjoyable or restful stay. Medical personnel are forever probing at your body, their chatter and manipulation of objects in and about your room is noisy, and beeping of empty IV machines can go on and on before someone has time to take care of it. Add that to the language problem (if you don’t speak French), and the fact that my brother’s voice is only a raunchy whisper from being burnt by radiation treatments. The staff took away his pain medication, and there was some confusion about the amounts and schedule required to keep him comfortable. Already under enormous mental pressure from worry about the as yet unknown results of the lung biopsy, he told the resident doctor that he was checking himself out. He wanted to go home. Fortunately, after reading the file and hearing the facts, the doctor agreed it was the best decision. Armed with a prescription for antibiotics and codeine, we left the hospital at 3 PM yesterday, and within the hour he was able to relax in his own living room.

I know that the danger of depression is very real but I brushed off his attempt to discuss the possibility of his phase now being terminal. We’ll wait on the results, I told him; cross that bridge when we get to it. He is right, of course. It is something we’ll have to talk out, but yesterday was not the time to do it…at least, not for me. I wasn’t ready.

I arrived home to find voice mail messages from his friends, wondering where he was. Damn – everything had happened so fast that I had forgotten to warn anyone. Luckily Fran called to tell me she was on her way to see him at the hospital, so I was able to save her the trip. She carefully mentioned that he had initiated a conversation with her last week; he was preparing for the worst. Her words were a warning that I need to get in touch with the family consultant in the Cancer clinic. She is a sweet lady, with a terrific sense of humor, and she hit it off with my brother right from the start of all this, which is already a plus. I’ll make that call today.

Thankfully, the HABS were playing last night. Once my Blackberry battery was charged, Sam444 and I did our usual running commentary of the game by e-mail. It helped. For a couple of hours I was able to distance myself from everything except what was happening on the ice. Tonight I am to meet Dawna and Malcolm; a social visit as well as a look at the program Malcolm has been creating for the office. My grandson will be coming home later today too, and that is always nice.

Yes, it is procrastination. Although not an admirable habit, it is sometimes a necessity. I’ll get my head into the right place before sitting down and talking with my brother. It’s a wretched occasion at the best of times, but to go into it unstable will only make it worse for all concerned. It will be done before the week’s end.

The sun is shining, there is a full day ahead, and I was reading this morning that due to advances in ultrasound technology, babies can be seen smiling in utero. Isn’t that something? It means SMILING is something we are born to do!! I’m sending mine out to y’all now – hoping it helps your day!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

NOTICING REASONS

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My brother has to be practically crawling before he’ll contact me for help during the night. When the phone rang at 2 AM, seeing his name on the caller ID brought me out of my groggy state quick enough. He was gasping for air when I answered; I could barely understand his words when he wheezed that he was coughing up blood – lots of it. It took us an hour to reach the hospital; this included my throwing on clothes, driving to his place, his difficult walk down the stairs and into the car, and without a doubt breaking the speed limit on the way. He’s now in an isolated room, hooked up to an IV that is pumping antibiotics into his system. It appears that he will be kept for 2 to 3 days.

I rarely have headaches, but on leaving the hospital this morning I experienced a dilly! I finally gave in and popped a couple of Motrin, which, in normal times, would practically knock me out. There was work for the office that needed to be taken care of before I could get back to bed. Fortunately, without knowing why, I hadn’t done much but doze off and on during the weekend. It was odd, not in my usual habits, but it prepared me for this latest event. I was able to function rationally and safely, and complete what was most important. I couldn’t help but reflect once more that everything happens for a reason.

It is not the first run-in I’ve had with this terrible disease. Today is my mom’s birthday, and I continue to toast her (usually with my brother) even though she passed over from pancreatic cancer in 2005. Tomorrow will be my sister’s birthday. She succumbed to colon cancer in 1995; she had just turned 47. Each of them, when diagnosed as terminal, was brought home and ended her earthly days in her own bed, held in my arms. I am no stranger to the long, sometimes tearful, conversations which occur, or to the preparation and distribution of the soothing but deadly doses of morphine. My leg was in a cast during my sister’s illness; I was unable to work, so was available to stay with her. When my mom got sick, I had hours of overtime accumulated, and the technology for working from a distance was installed. Once again, I was able to be there. Nothing had been planned; and I certainly had bitched about the broken leg AND the overtime I had been forced to do, but…I had forgotten…..everything happens for a reason.

I’m not writing this in a bid for sympathy. Human experience proves that those difficult and painful moments are a part of life, and each of us has felt the resulting heartbreak in some form, many far worse than mine. However, if we pay attention, we may notice that we have been prepared to deal with it in the easiest way possible. There is no coincidence, just reasons, although we tend to realize it, if we do at all, after the events.

I expect I am repeating what I have declared on more than one occasion; obviously my conviction is sincere. Even if it doesn’t seem like it in our desperate moments, we are not alone. There is a force, a special strength; those of religious and spiritual persuasions call it God (by whatever name we use); agnostics may attribute it to science. One thing is certain – it is PRESENT – preparing before, fortifying during, and supporting after. Personally, I have more than once, through meditation and prayer, felt the deep warmth and the reassuring touch.

With this said – my brother is in good hands right now; the trees look lovely in the falling snow; the HABS had a big win last night, and the Detroit game will be televised in my area this evening. I’ll pour my glass of wine, lift it high to remember the best of my mom and my sister, and those memories will make me SMILE.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

THE FAIRY MOON

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What a moon was out there last night! Grump and I, accompanied by the beautiful Louka, walked for a long time, basking under the clear light, admiring its effect on the snow and trees along our country road. I wouldn’t have been surprised to come upon sprites and fairies, gracefully dancing their love and admiration, flickering in and among the huge stones and their own shadows….it was a night for magic in the bush. If one is allowing imagination free rein during a solitary midnight stroll, it’s wiser to lean towards the little people than werewolves, right?

My brother decided to wait and see his family doctor on Monday rather than sit for hours in emergency at the hospital yesterday. He’s a grown man so, whether I agree or not, there‘s no point in arguing with him. Slightly frustrated, I took it out on my floors. I danced with my mop from one end of the house to the other and Grump, although an avid spectator, stayed well out of my way until I finished. The music was too loud for his doggie ears, so most of his watching was done from the other side of the glass doors lining the gallery.

Believe it or not, that’s about all I did in the past 24 hours! It may have been the lack of sleep from the day before, or just age? My energy was low, and my couch far too inviting. I snoozed for a bit, stretched out in the late afternoon sun shining through the windows. Ah...so nice! I woke to find that Grump had followed my example, and was slumbering on the loveseat in the same room. Aren’t we a pair!

The weather is fine again this morning. Other than watch the HABS play later this afternoon, I still haven’t determined which of the many tasks, if any, I will choose to do. Whatever it turns out to be, you can be sure I’ll be SMILING because, really, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

I’ve sent one flying through cyber-space – on its way to you now! I hope it helps you to enjoy your Sunday!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

SPRING = CHANGE

I don’t think anyone likes having to spend time in hospitals, especially when it’s for something serious. I came out of there exhausted, but nothing close to the shape my brother was in. He dozed nearly all the way home. Granted neither of us slept more than 3 hours the night before, and we were on the road at 5 AM, attempting to thwart the rush hour on the way into the city. At least this time, after already trying twice without success, they managed to complete the biopsy on his lung. They also discovered that he has a bad case of pneumonia again. Today we’ll be back in emergency at one of the local hospitals to get a prescription for the infection. The docs were all very busy yesterday, and my bro was too beat to wait. He just wanted to get back home and into bed. As for the cancer, within 6 to 7 days we shall know at what stage the tumor is now, and then decide on treatment.

The sky is clear blue over my mountain this morning, with a huge, warm sun to complete the picture. There is still too much snow to work in the yard outside, but Grump and I have been strolling around, planning where to put my garden this year. I know I’ll need to fence the area first, what with all the dogs running around loose. Scarecrows just don’t cut the mustard with the four-legged intruders. It should be quite the experience; I don’t have a green thumb, and have only ever been the helper, my friend being the expert on that kind of thing. We shall see what kind of veggies I can grow on my own. If nothing else, it will prove interesting.

When the smell of spring is in the air, I get itchy for change, for something new. While enjoying my Bubble Day last week, I decided to visit the hairdresser. In fact, I had just sat down on her swivel chair when the earthquake rolled through here. Was it the realization that unexpected events can quickly alter our lives? Whatever, I decided out of the blue to forego trim and streaks for drastic cut and color. I must admit that I am very pleased with the result. This effect can become a dangerous precedent; it may have awakened my latent desire for doing the unpredictable, something I was sure, and my family hoped, that I had outgrown. I can feel those old familiar stirrings…..LOL!

The new 'do' - whatddya think?

One thing we can depend on, that will never change, that will always rebound, is my SMILE! Life is not always easy, but I’m convinced that our SMILES do much to lighten the load. Hoping I’ve helped you shed a couple of pounds, folks – and wishing you a great fun-filled weekend!!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

THE END OF BUBBLE DAY

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There was a small earthquake here yesterday. It measured a 4 point something, and you could hear it coming, felt a slight shift under the feet, then listen to it continue on. Nothing much, but because of the recent tragedy in Japan people paid attention. More than once was heard someone proclaiming, ‘That was frightening! Can you imagine what they felt with the size of the one over there?’

Yes, I can imagine. My daughter-in-law‘s parents in Osaka are shaken, but physically safe for the moment. It doesn’t keep her from worrying night and day – about aftershocks, about nuclear fall-out, about the lack of necessities such as food, clean water, and everything we take for granted in our day to day lives. Being Japanese, she does not go on and on about it – it’s not her way. I’m sure she would like nothing better than to have them close to her right now.

My Bubble Day (as Sam called it, LOL) was partially successful. The telephones were transferred to me as usual when the employees left the office around 5 PM, and the calls for income tax service continued. I had one fellow show up at my house during the first period of the Detroit-Washington hockey, his hands full of documents needing to be completed. I gave him the necessary information, sat him at the dining room table to work on it with instructions to holler if he needed help, and parked myself back in front of the television. I wasn’t worried about him wandering around; Grump, who growled when this ‘stranger’ first arrived, was sitting in the doorway, keeping an eye on the situation. The visitor likes and respects dogs, and knew enough not to start moving about without warning me first. The only thing that made him jump was my very loud ‘Yippee!!’ when the game ended with the Wings’ winning, revenge for my HABS from the night before.

The telephone started again at 5:15 AM this morning – a Residence cook was sick and needed to be replaced. Fortunately I was able to reach someone on our list without having to race into the city office searching for phone numbers. It was a dangerous move. Without coffee, in a total zombie state, I could have sent them a nurse instead of a chef. Once I was fully awake, I kept my fingers crossed as I re-read the information on the employee form and was relieved that the right call had been made, LOL.

Now it’s time to head into work, so I’ll send you my SMILE to pave the way for a fantastic day! (Wow! I’m getting this rhyming this down pat – will maybe write a decent poem eventually.)

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

STEP INTO MY BUBBLE!

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I’m taking a day off from the present world; I stepped into my sparkling, bouncing bubble of fun. I will NOT read the news, and instead of listening to the radio, there is a CD of swinging salsa music rocking my house. I will NOT speak to any civil-servant-wanna-be-cop; I am absent, in an all-day meeting, unreachable for the next 24 hours….whatever.

I will NOT worry about my brother’s cancer; there is nothing I can do about it anyway. For the moment, I have done anything that I can about other tragedies out there, so, on this Wednesday, I refuse to feel sad, or guilty, or angry. Grump and I will take a meandering walk in the softly, falling snow (yes, the Demons have returned to the Bush!), drink in the beautiful scenery out here, and then maybe I’ll make an apple crisp and surprise my daughter with it when I run into the store. Cooking is a joy for me, and it’s her favorite dessert.

I’ll wash my sheets so that I can crawl into a clean, fresh bed tonight (I’d wash them everyday just to get that feeling!), start some pretty flames hopping in the fireplace, and do some light cleaning in my grandson’s apartment downstairs. That beautiful boy bought his mom and his m’mère (me) a gift certificate for an afternoon at a well-know spa, including 50 minutes of massage, which he handed to me on his arrival last week. No particular reason for it – just an idea that we would enjoy it. Sweet!

Rather than mourn the loss of those stories I had saved on the hard disk of my ex-computer, I’ll start writing new tales. My imagination has been slumbering; we’re gonna wake that baby up! When I need to leave the computer and stretch my legs, Grump will join me and we’ll dance together from the kitchen all the way down the hall to the living room. I can sing in Spanish at the top of my lungs and that Grump-puppy will not complain at all!

I have proclaimed that this be a CHEERFUL day for yours truly – a day of giggles and SMILES! I I’m sending a whole slew of those SMILES out over cyber-space – you are welcome to catch one, jump into my bubble, and celebrate with me!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

ADDICTION? WHAT ADDICTION?

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‘No food in the past 12 hours and no alcohol for 24 hours?’ The lady behind the counter was stamping my papers as she asked the question.

‘What?’ I exclaimed. ‘The doctor’s paper said nothing but water for 12 hours! Whaddya mean 24 hours?’

The stamping halted. She gazed at me over her glasses. ’24 hours’, she stressed. ‘It was written in the e-mail we send you with the confirmation of the appointment.’

‘But the doctor’s paper said….’ I stopped when she gave me the look. Damn, but I hate to be on the receiving end of the look! I had just noted the hour and time in the e-mail, and, being in the usual hurry, had not looked at any of the fine print. The guilty doth loudly protest.

‘I was going by the doctor’s paper. I had a glass of wine around 4:30 yesterday afternoon.’ I growled at her, my tone implying that it was HER fault. ‘So now what?’

She shrugged as she handed my papers back to me. ‘You’re the one paying,’ she answered. ‘We’ll do part of the tests today, and I can give you another appointment for tomorrow morning IF you follow directions.’

‘And do this all over again?’ My growl went from a rumble to a near roar. I glared at her. Her next words accompanied by an understanding smile completely disarmed me.

‘You have about 30 minutes before they call you, and there’s a restaurant just around the corner. Great coffee.’

Obviously I wasn’t the only grumpy patient she had encountered in her job, and she was well aware of the cause. All of a sudden she was my new best friend! I was out of there and gratefully sipping on my first cup of sweet, black nectar within seconds. It’s astounding how quickly my attitude changed. I slipped back into the waiting room, and bashfully confirmed my appointment for Saturday morning. I followed the rules, and the next day most of my tests were completed.

Habits. How difficult it is to break them! I decided to play a game with myself, see if I had the stuff it takes. Instead of bee-lining to the coffee shop when my tests were finished, I forced myself to do the 40 minute drive to my daughter’s house. I had warned her by telephone, and the wonderful aroma of my addiction greeted me when I stepped inside her door. Self-defense, my daughter called it, LOL!

But, hey, I did it! It showed me that if I have to, I can. Maybe I should list some of my other habits and break them one by one. I think I’ll do just that today…when I’ve finished my second cup of coffee.

After all, it doesn’t pay to take ourselves TOO seriously!!!

Sending you a wink and a SMILE, folks.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

SNOW & DOCTORS

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Snow, snow, and more snow. There’s much lamenting going on in this area. My Demons are over-staying their welcome. The closer we get to Spring, the louder are cries of ‘Not again!! We are fed up!’ I have decided to keep my delight under wraps; a bid for self-protection. I strongly suspect that people could start throwing things at me to shut me up, LOL.

I admit that the weather’s ups and downs are much harder on some folks. I just work from home when it’s bad, but many do not have that luxury. My son’s job requires that he spend the whole day negotiating the traffic and slippery roads, and his comment on Facebook this morning left no doubt as to his opinion of the storms. Censored!

It’s not ALL fun and games for me though. Missing a couple of days at the office during tax period means making it up this weekend. Ah well, them’s the breaks. Living in Canada is worth enduring the weather, and this year has not been as wild as some I can remember. As long as the electricity doesn’t fail for the HABS’ game tonight…..

Very early tomorrow morning I have to be at the clinic for some of those tests the doctor ordered, the ones I was supposed to have done…ummm…in February of 2010. It’s a 40 minute drive and nothing but water is to be ingested for 12 hours before my session with the medical vampires. There will be no coffee to snap me out of my zombie state….and I’ll be driving. I’m considering using my hazard lights to warn others on the road.

To be honest, it will be a relief to check things out. I can tell that something is wrong. I imagine it is just stress overload, but knowledge is better. Because I neglected to make the appointments within a year, I had to either see the doc again for a new prescription, or use a private clinic. I opted for the latter. It will cost money, but it will save time (which is money in itself) and I’ll also have the results much faster. The balance of probing is scheduled for next week, and the doctor should be in touch with me shortly after.

Now I gotta make the donuts, so I leave you with hopes that you have a pleasant day, and that you share my SMILES.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

WAKING THE BRAIN

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Oh my, what a game between Boston and the HABS last night! It was a ‘sit-in-the-edge-of-your-seat’ action, and would have been perfect if not for the bad hit on one of the HABS players. The kid is only 22, and is concussed, lying in the hospital. Unfortunate, but personally, I don’t think that kind of injury was done with malice. It was just the location on the ice where it happened; I doubt very much that Chara (the Bruin’s player), had time to notice exactly where they were when he hit. And hockey is a contact sport, after all. Still, if I was that kid’s mother…I would probably be roaring for revenge by now. Many of the HABS’ fans are going over the edge with calls for dire punishment. This town takes hockey to heart!

Was it the gorgeous sun shining outside our windows yesterday? Or the fact that I had already been awake for 6 hours before traffic allowed me to reach the office? Or the article that I read on the news stating that the provincial fiscal civil servants are belligerent, not adequately trained, and often hired on contract from foreign countries to strong-arm and harass our citizens and small businesses for tax collection? And they have monthly quotas?????

It was possibly a combination of all three. All I know is that I was in neutral, in the worst way. My concentration was at zero capacity. I hardly heard the words of the client sitting in front of my desk; or rather, I heard his words, but none of it was sinking in. It wouldn’t be amiss to admit that the only thing I accomplished was moving piles of paper from one place to another, and I’ll probably spend today looking for those piles because I won’t remember where I put them down!

One of the employees is on vacation in Cuba (I couldn’t refuse – it was a family affair and paid for by her father-in-law), and we were already short-staffed before she left. Poor Line did more than her share yesterday, trying to encourage me by stating that my being so tired was the reason I was unable to function; that it was understandable after the year I’ve been through. Ha!! I can just imagine my grandma’s comment on that excuse! In fact, she wouldn’t even have to say a word; she would just straighten her shoulders, give me that look of hers, and I’d get moving!

Which is what I plan on doing today – move those darned shadows that are numbing my brain. Enough is enough. My brother called to say he is feeling better, my grandson arrives home this evening, the HABS did win the game last night, and the sun is shining out there again….and, incidentally, yesterday is done and gone. Today is a brand new day, just waiting for me to fill it with good things and happy SMILES - I’m on it!!!

Hope your day will be pleasant too, and that you SMILE all the way through! (Ha ha! Poetic, I am!)

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

SNOW...AND TELEPHONE

Yesterday morning I had an appointment at 9:30 to pick up documents in my area. The phone rang just as I was leaving the house, and I was surprised that it was a client. It was after 9 AM, so the office should be open, but obviously the calls were still being forwarded home. Thinking that maybe they had forgotten to take off the call-transfer, I opened my cell to text a reminder to Line, and was astonished when I read her message.

‘Huge storm. Working from home.’ it read. Storm?? What storm? There was no sign of it in the bush, and a glance outside showed that snow had not fallen during the night either. Between Line’s information, the internet, and the radio, I soon realized that my Demons were out touring again. Everywhere BUT the bush was dealing with one of our biggest storms to date. The roads to the office were passable, but it would take hours to get there because of traffic and removal operations. It seemed I would be working from home too.

I wasn’t able to complete much paperwork; it was a phone day. Every time I put down the receiver, another call would come in, and more than once I found 3 or 4 voicemail messages besides. It was a relief when things started to slow down after 5 PM.

I decided to make my daily call to my brother, then call it quits for the night. He was sick and running a fever; it sounds like the flu-bug that has been going around. Grump and I jumped into my truck, made a stop at the pharmacy for medication, and on to his place where we found the bro wrapped up in blankets, not feeling good at all. He took the medication I had brought, and we waited around for a bit until his fever lowered some, and I remembered to put the phone beside my bed…just in case…when we finally got back home. The surgery for his lung is scheduled for March 18th, and hopefully things will be better when it is done.

Today is another day. I was awake at 4 AM, and have a feeling I’ll be using the futon in my office this afternoon. In the meantime, there’s a ‘to-do’ list as long as my arm… and I’m finding it more and more difficult to rouse the necessary energy. Fortunately, it only takes a few minutes of self-motivation, a reminder that we’ll do it one step at a time, and that things are easier when we do it with a SMILE!

Have a good day, folks!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

VEGGIN'

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It was ‘lie-low’ weather yesterday in the bush. When my son called to ask me how the roads were up here, I suggested that he celebrate Yoshio’s birthday in the city instead, and he readily agreed. His job has him driving all week, in all kinds of temperatures. Why negotiate slippery roads on your weekend if you don’t have to?

After doing some light housework, I built up the fire, and Grump and I settled on the couch in front of the TV. It wasn’t long before we fell to sleep. Ah...one has to love the occasional lazy day!

Grump, of course, did not agree. We were no sooner awake than he began to hint that we should go outside and play. If it had been still snowing, I’d have probably agreed, but the rain was coming down by then, and everything was glare ice out there, so I refused. I’m sure my dog is convinced that his mistress can be terribly boring at times.

Other than talk on the telephone once or twice, answer some e-mails, browse in Blogit, download a couple of books to my Kindle, I did little of anything before it was time to watch the HABS win their Saturday night game. A short stint of reading, then bedtime. The life of Riley.

Today, however, will be a different story. There is a pile of paperwork on my desk, floors to wash, laundry to be done, and I need to go into town for some errands. We’re deep into another snowstorm, and apparently it is to last until tomorrow morning, so there is no use attempting to wait it out. My Demons have come back home.

I’ll get to it. Wishing you all a great day, and sending you all a huge SMILE.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

A NEGATIVE

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I had a Panic attack last night, and it was a dilly! Out of the blue. For no darned reason at all.

Those bothersome events started about 3 years ago. The first happened while I was driving home from a hectic day at the office. It threw me for a loop, I tell you! I pulled over to the side of the road, certain that it was a heart attack, worried that I’d lose control of the car and run somebody down. All the symptoms were there, but the information (which I googled afterwards) advises that the chest pains are not the same at all. If you have never experienced a heart attack, how would you know?

So – they have been happening off and on…mostly off…and lately things have been fine. I’ve even been sleeping more, working less hours, getting exercise; in short, doing all those things one is supposed to do. Granted, we’re in high season, but this year has seen me stay much calmer than usual. I would even venture that I’m in a much better place mentally than I have been for ages.

It’s no wonder then that last night’s episode took me totally by surprise. It was also one of the worst up to date; my heart was hammering so hard that I thought I would bounce out of bed! Although these things are only supposed to last 30 minutes or so, I walked the floor from 1 AM to 6 AM, attempting to regulate my breathing, sipping water and, I admit it, cussing when nothing seemed to work. I was tired, and desired nothing more than to sleep. Finally the ticker settled down, but it had already ruined any chance for a productive day.

Actually, that’s not quite true. The one thing I did accomplish today was to dig out the list of preventive tests my new doctor had requested when I last saw her; the one put aside until I would have time to follow-up. Maybe I shouldn’t mention that the date on the sheets was February 2010? Anyway, I called and faxed and logged appointments. My body doesn’t feel sick, but it’s better to be sure that all is well physically before going for the lobotomy. (Joke!!)

It could be flashbacks, I suppose. Anyhow, we’ll check it out in spite of my aversion to that kind of probing. Doctors always seem to find something wrong, which is why I avoid them in the first place.

Ah well, everything happens for a reason, so maybe it was the sign to smarten up. It’s easier to handle things when you know what you’re supposed to be handling. Besides, I certainly don’t want to go through another night like that if it can be helped!

Kilroy has started posting on his blog again; tomorrow we’ll be celebrating my Japanese daughter-in-law’s birthday (sushi, yum!); and the HABS are on a roll! Life is good, and tonight I’m SMILING. It’s winging its way out to you all as I write – hope it adds a little warmth to your weekend!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

THE DAY TODAY

Grump is pouting. He wanted me to go for a walk tonight, but I really don’t have the energy, so I opted for relaxation in the Jacuzzi instead. The minute he saw me turn on the tap, Mr. Grump lost any hope that his repeated efforts would change my mind. He did a doggie ‘HUFFMP!’, turned his back and stalked away. He’s on his cushion now, and I’m getting The Look, LOL!

It’s not that he is restricted out here in the bush. He is allowed to roam freely as long as he stays within the boundaries, so has lots of running space on the land. I know he enjoys my company, and walking up the country road is, of course, out of bounds unless I’m with him, so is rarer, therefore a treat. Yet I have a sneaking suspicion that he has another reason for wanting my presence…he intends me to be a bodyguard. Those thrill-seeking ladies are still out there, and I fear he is under the false illusion that they will be less likely to bother him when he’s running beside his mistress. The poor fellow has much to learn about females and their hormones.

I worked from home part of the day, and spent the rest running around picking up tax papers, collecting office accounts, doing errands. I was back to the house by 3 PM, and prepared supper for Dawna and Malcolm, who arrived not much later with laptop in hand. Malcolm is setting up a data program for our business, and we needed to get together and exchange information before he can complete the job. It was a nice evening, with interesting conversation, as is usual with these two, and yes, after eating we watched the HABS win their game.

The water has finished running, the soft scent of Tamanu beckons, so I leave you now to slip into warm, gentle bubbles. From there I will send out cyber-wishes that you all enjoy sweet and restful dreams tonight; that Justi has a special birthday tomorrow, and that each of you catch my SMILE!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

SEXUAL HARRASSEMENT!

The beautiful Louka.
I was standing at the kitchen sink, finishing up the dishes, when I heard scuffling on the gallery…. and was that a faint cry of ‘Help’?

It must have been telepathy. When I turned around, there was Grump-puppy, his face mashed up against the French door, staring at me through the glass, panic in his eyes, beseeching his mistress to let him inside. And will you please hurry!!! His dilemma was evident, so I hastened over to rescue the poor fellow. With a look of utmost relief, he slunk past and bee-lined to his doggie cushion, turning his back to the door before throwing himself down, attempting to become as small as possible. He was hiding. I couldn’t help but laugh aloud, and his expression told me I was adding insult to injury. It was just too funny. It is also one of the worst cases of sexual harassment that I’ve ever seen, LOL!!

My neighbor’s Sally, the Rottweiler, and the beautiful Louka, the wolf-husky mix, are in heat. Grump, being the only male in their immediate area, has become the target of their ardent desires. He had the big ‘O’ when very young, so he is slightly bewildered by their persistent attention. Both females are taller than he is, and they tend to become pushy when competing for his favors. Grump gets caught in the middle. To be fair, he does try to accommodate them, but the instinct is just not there, so he gets bored quickly. When the two of them come after him at the same time, he gets downright skitterish. It’s been so bothersome that he doesn’t even want to go outside if he sees Louka at the door, where she is more often than not. Being the star in doggie-porn is obviously not one of Grump’s aspirations.

This has been going on for about 10 days now, and I try comforting my poor pit by telling him that things will be back to normal within another 2 weeks or so. He listens politely, doing his best to ignore Louka’s face in the window, and, with typical male behavior, has wisely decided to keep his head down while the ladies are on the rampage. He’s waiting it out.

I’m sure he can’t understand why I find it so comical, so I won’t let him catch me SMILING as I write this. I’ll hurry and send it out to you, folks – and wish you all a great day!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec