ADDICTION? WHAT ADDICTION?

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‘No food in the past 12 hours and no alcohol for 24 hours?’ The lady behind the counter was stamping my papers as she asked the question.

‘What?’ I exclaimed. ‘The doctor’s paper said nothing but water for 12 hours! Whaddya mean 24 hours?’

The stamping halted. She gazed at me over her glasses. ’24 hours’, she stressed. ‘It was written in the e-mail we send you with the confirmation of the appointment.’

‘But the doctor’s paper said….’ I stopped when she gave me the look. Damn, but I hate to be on the receiving end of the look! I had just noted the hour and time in the e-mail, and, being in the usual hurry, had not looked at any of the fine print. The guilty doth loudly protest.

‘I was going by the doctor’s paper. I had a glass of wine around 4:30 yesterday afternoon.’ I growled at her, my tone implying that it was HER fault. ‘So now what?’

She shrugged as she handed my papers back to me. ‘You’re the one paying,’ she answered. ‘We’ll do part of the tests today, and I can give you another appointment for tomorrow morning IF you follow directions.’

‘And do this all over again?’ My growl went from a rumble to a near roar. I glared at her. Her next words accompanied by an understanding smile completely disarmed me.

‘You have about 30 minutes before they call you, and there’s a restaurant just around the corner. Great coffee.’

Obviously I wasn’t the only grumpy patient she had encountered in her job, and she was well aware of the cause. All of a sudden she was my new best friend! I was out of there and gratefully sipping on my first cup of sweet, black nectar within seconds. It’s astounding how quickly my attitude changed. I slipped back into the waiting room, and bashfully confirmed my appointment for Saturday morning. I followed the rules, and the next day most of my tests were completed.

Habits. How difficult it is to break them! I decided to play a game with myself, see if I had the stuff it takes. Instead of bee-lining to the coffee shop when my tests were finished, I forced myself to do the 40 minute drive to my daughter’s house. I had warned her by telephone, and the wonderful aroma of my addiction greeted me when I stepped inside her door. Self-defense, my daughter called it, LOL!

But, hey, I did it! It showed me that if I have to, I can. Maybe I should list some of my other habits and break them one by one. I think I’ll do just that today…when I’ve finished my second cup of coffee.

After all, it doesn’t pay to take ourselves TOO seriously!!!

Sending you a wink and a SMILE, folks.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

A NEGATIVE

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I had a Panic attack last night, and it was a dilly! Out of the blue. For no darned reason at all.

Those bothersome events started about 3 years ago. The first happened while I was driving home from a hectic day at the office. It threw me for a loop, I tell you! I pulled over to the side of the road, certain that it was a heart attack, worried that I’d lose control of the car and run somebody down. All the symptoms were there, but the information (which I googled afterwards) advises that the chest pains are not the same at all. If you have never experienced a heart attack, how would you know?

So – they have been happening off and on…mostly off…and lately things have been fine. I’ve even been sleeping more, working less hours, getting exercise; in short, doing all those things one is supposed to do. Granted, we’re in high season, but this year has seen me stay much calmer than usual. I would even venture that I’m in a much better place mentally than I have been for ages.

It’s no wonder then that last night’s episode took me totally by surprise. It was also one of the worst up to date; my heart was hammering so hard that I thought I would bounce out of bed! Although these things are only supposed to last 30 minutes or so, I walked the floor from 1 AM to 6 AM, attempting to regulate my breathing, sipping water and, I admit it, cussing when nothing seemed to work. I was tired, and desired nothing more than to sleep. Finally the ticker settled down, but it had already ruined any chance for a productive day.

Actually, that’s not quite true. The one thing I did accomplish today was to dig out the list of preventive tests my new doctor had requested when I last saw her; the one put aside until I would have time to follow-up. Maybe I shouldn’t mention that the date on the sheets was February 2010? Anyway, I called and faxed and logged appointments. My body doesn’t feel sick, but it’s better to be sure that all is well physically before going for the lobotomy. (Joke!!)

It could be flashbacks, I suppose. Anyhow, we’ll check it out in spite of my aversion to that kind of probing. Doctors always seem to find something wrong, which is why I avoid them in the first place.

Ah well, everything happens for a reason, so maybe it was the sign to smarten up. It’s easier to handle things when you know what you’re supposed to be handling. Besides, I certainly don’t want to go through another night like that if it can be helped!

Kilroy has started posting on his blog again; tomorrow we’ll be celebrating my Japanese daughter-in-law’s birthday (sushi, yum!); and the HABS are on a roll! Life is good, and tonight I’m SMILING. It’s winging its way out to you all as I write – hope it adds a little warmth to your weekend!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec