GRANNY GA-GA? NOT ME!

I loved it! Babysitting the grandchildren is not a regular occurrence for me, so last night was a bit of a novelty. After an evening of dancing and laughter and cuddling, the kiddies were tucked safely into bed. Their parents, who arrived back earlier than expected, sat and chatted with me for an hour or so. We were discussing the different characters of the children, and the way they each reacted and behaved. My son, who is MY baby, paid me a high compliment.

“Everyone tells me I’m just like my Dad,” he said. “That may be, but when it comes to raising my kids, I think I’m alot like you.”

My daughter has remarked the same thing, albeit in different words. Why do I consider it a compliment? Because, like my children, each of my five grandchildren is exceptional. Yeh, I know. All grandparents swear the same. But I’m not talking about beauty or talent here, although they have that too. It’s about their outlook, their understanding, and how they are learning to live true in a world composed of many “me-myself-and-I” attitudes. They are being taught, and absorbing the lesson well, that, although the possibilities are limitless, there are limits as to how these possibilities can be attained. Does that statement make sense?

An example: N, the oldest who will be 5 in December, is an avid Spiderman fan, and a whiz at children’s video games. When he started practicing the kung-fu moves on his friends at daycare, his dad warned him that these were fantasy games, and not a thing to do in real life. N did not heed the warning however, so Spiderman and the video games were put out of his reach. He was told that they would be kept away until he could understand the difference. His attempts to convince daddy that the lesson was now learned were unsuccessful. There is an imposed timeout for reflection. A subtle lesson; he is learning that his extraordinary ability in playing the games is praiseworthy, but there are limits on how and where he uses his ability. Ignoring the limits causes unhappy consequences.

B, who turned 2 in June, is a type ‘A’ personality. A going concern, he pushes the envelope to the end whenever he can. He has also noted that a cute pout, created by lowering his head then peering up at you with his big, blue eyes, can occasionally get him off the hook. Woefully for him, those occasions are rapidly getting rarer as he gets older. Consequences WILL be paid if his actions threaten to hurt or disrespect something or someone, (himself included). So - he can drum on the pots and pans, and M’mere will keep him company by dancing to the erratic beat. Throwing them against the wall or down the stairs will cause damage, and is not allowed, no matter how amusing it seems to be. The pouting charm didn’t work (I turned my back so he couldn’t see my grin), nor did his refusal to put the objects away. He wasn’t allowed to move from the designated space until he helped right his mess. M’mere wasn’t screaming or yelling, just calmly determined...and she was bigger than him, LOL! It was done, there were no hard feelings, and praise and kissing and cuddling were the reward for the job completed; another subtle lesson on the existence of limits and the result when you don’t respect them.

Do I sound like a harridan? Believe me, I’m not. I believe that we should give our children as much as we can, and that they should be encouraged to ‘paint outside the lines’ if that is their wish. ...to a certain point. They are, after all, children, and we, as adults, have the responsibility to impose limits; limits to be stretched as they get mature enough to intelligently handle what comes next. After all, our kids are eventually going to be in charge of the world. I’m just trying to insure that my old age will be treated with intelligence, respect and compassion. Oh, and I wouldn’t say no to lodging in a luxurious nursing home.....

Sending you all a huge SMILE – I’ve been wearing mine since spending time with those adorable little scamps, so it’s time to share it. Hope you’ll share yours too!!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.