BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.

I would really prefer not to have too many more weekends like this one...my weekend, at least.

There was too darned much thinking, reminiscing, searching, and mentally kicking my own butt. How in hell, at my age, so you justify being so gullible? Within the past 18 months, three betrayals – a business partner/friend; another person so close to me I’d have put my hand in fire before believing she could do what she did; and now family? You fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. What about the third time? I guess it would be: pay attention, dimwit!!

We’re back to the drawing board where my future is concerned. I had started putting things together for writing, and will keep at it, although it will not be so easy now. My 2 remaining clients had been warned that I was finished with them by December. I guess my biggest decision will be if I want to continue in accounting (not really) or work at something else. I know there is no time for dawdling, but I decided to take the two days to lick my wounds...to eventually remind myself that everything happens for a reason.

My grandson will probably be moving from his apartment too at the end of the year, so I not only need to find work, but also another tenant....or sell the house. All these thoughts flitting through my mind as I finally, today, began packing up clothes and toys belonging to my rug rats. I haven’t heard a thing from that branch since I drove back with my son from the airport on Friday. He confirmed that his lady had changed her mind about all our plans. I, in turn, confirmed that there was no way I would be moving into the downstairs apartment to leave her the house. I dropped him off, hoping that he is not setting himself up to get hurt a third time. He is much like his mother. We tend to give people the benefit of doubt. And pay for it often.

It was a beautiful day weather-wise. The doggies and I went out into the sun and snow, then came back in and lit our fires, put on music, and fell into our former routine of peace and quiet. They looked for the boys and Wigi. For the moment, the cat and bird are still here to distract them a little. That parakeet can imitate each of the rug rats’ laugh perfectly!

I miss them like crazy, but it’s not really about me, is it? It’s about my 3 boys who are sure to be happy that daddy is home, that mommy is there too; that their life as a family has returned to normal.

That’s what is most important, and that’s the thought that helps me SMILE.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.