MÉMÈRE VS MOMMY?

I saw the look exchanged between mother and daughter – a long one that speaks volumes without uttering a word. I don’t know what was behind it, although I can think of a least a dozen things. It put my teeth on edge, and if the boys hadn’t been with us, I probably would have asked which of the dozen things it was exactly. I didn’t like that look.

My son had left for work at 5:00 AM, and the rug rats were up within 10 minutes of his departure, Saturday or not! The agreement is that the boys live with us during the week, and spend the weekend with their Mom. It was her birthday yesterday, so she was celebrating last night, and advised that she would come for the boys only this morning. I agreed when my son asked me; anything I had planned could be put off until noon or so. When I hadn’t heard from her by 9:30, I decided to call her. She was waiting on her mother, she told me. The grandma in question wanted to see where I lived so that she could visit the boys now and then. I have no problem with that; she used to see them daily, and I can imagine how she misses them since the separation.

As a parent goes, my ex-DIL is very protective, like her mom was with her, and I am nearly the opposite. Her mom worried that there were no security gates to contain the baby, what about the stairs? No, he’s fine – watches where he’s going, I said. Follows the other two everywhere and I do keep an eye out.

The two youngest have slight colds; I was up as they coughed through the first night, the second day was better, and last night even more so. Just a bit of a cough now, a low grade fever, sniffles. I gave them lots of juice and water, spoons of honey and ginger for the cough, cool cloths when they were too warm, more down time than usual. They both ate good breakfasts this morning. I saw no need to use the pumps or Tylenol in the medicine bag, so didn’t. Fearing bronchitis, his Mommy medicated the little one before leaving. Oops!

There were a few other things – yes, the older boys roam the 3 acres outside on their own. They have been told where the boundaries are, and are expected to respect them. Daddy and the oldest already have the floor and ladder done for the tree house. Yes, it is high, but it’s a tree house.

The couple of red spots on the baby? Mosquito bites. He has been playing outside, picking wild raspberries and blackberries with Mémère and his brothers, shoving them into his mouth as fast as he can. He also jumped in the only puddle to be found in the whole lane, getting his shoes very wet. He beat his Mémère to it, but they enjoyed it together when she caught up to him.

Hmmm, that too; black soles because they run around most of the time barefoot. With 2 dogs, 3 rug rats and 2 adults, not counting visitors, plus the dust from the dirt road...and oh - I wouldn’t eat off the floors here unless you wash whatever falls on it first. It all comes off in the bath at night.

The list goes on.

I’ve been expecting some hassles, of course. Disputes happen in most separations, no matter how friendly the participants. I am also very aware that my methods are different than those of my DIL. Fortunately, we sincerely like each other, so I have no doubt that we’ll deal with it as time passes; either adjusting or accepting as needed.

One thing I know for certain – there was disapproval in that look. I was still stinging from it as I stood on the gallery with the doggies and waved goodbye to the rug rats.

“What do you think, guys?” I asked Smooch and Grump. “Is this old Mémère okay as a parent or not?” Probably happy with the sudden undivided attention, they both leaned against me, a sign they’re content.

“That’s what I thought!” I told them, and I SMILED.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec