MOVING ON....

After receiving my text, my youngest son came by yesterday to gather whatever tools he had in the garage, the clothes still in upstairs’ dressers, and the multitude of toys that were taking up a good part of my living room.

Our conversation is stilted; emotions on both sides are still too raw to discuss his lady’s antics which so changed our lives and, unfortunately, our relationship, as well as that with his siblings. In an attempt to make amends, he told me he was leaving a few toys here for the future, and I dare say infrequent, visits from my Rug rats. He will be heading back to his job this weekend, and will be away for two months, but offered to bring the boys to see me before his departure. He mentioned that HE had put my number in the oldest rug rat’s I-pad. I didn’t tell him that the child has already contacted me several times with Facetime; I’m not sure the parents are aware of his calls. Whether his lady likes it or not, I do believe the boys are missing me as much as I am missing them.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against my son wanting to hold his family together; in fact, I respect his decision. I also understand his lady’s desire to return to her own house and her former way of life. I believe that I was the only one who realized how difficult the change was for her right from the start.

What I do detest is the sneaky way she accomplished her aims, and the havoc she created by being self-centered and unfeeling and a total hypocrite. Her subsequent guilt, whether she’s aware of it or not, continues to make it harder for everyone; she doesn’t want to face me. I have to admit that I agree on that one. For the moment, a meeting may not be wise.

She has never had girlfriends, only male ‘friends’, and the reason is clear; her pretty face and butt and defenceless act may pull the wool over a guy’s eyes (my son included), but the females see through it in a heartbeat...and steer away. Except females like me, who naively give the benefit of the doubt to most people, and who purposely ignored certain traits because I was determined to accept and love my son’s choice. There is, however, a limit to the concessions one can make, especially when you suspect they won’t matter in the long run. I am certain that my son will eventually get hurt, in a big way. But, as his older brother remarked, he is a man now, and will just have to deal with it. The only thing a mother can do is help pick up the pieces when it’s over.

On the other hand, one could say that I’ve got my house and my life back! I’ve been spending as much time with Suzie as possible, am again taking long walks outside with the doggies, and those slow, uninterrupted soaks in the Jacuzzi, and even languish by the fireplace in my living room which had been mentally reserved for the private time of my son’s couple. Being very lucky health-wise, I am confident that I’ll also manage the bad financial situation which they left behind in their abrupt and unexpected withdrawal.

I miss the sticky kisses and the chubby hugs and the giggles....and the noise and the squabbles and changing diapers...but not so much as I did during the first weeks. I’m enjoying my peace and quiet and the nightly silence of the monitor which is still on my bedside table.

I remember that everything happens for a reason; I accept that I’ve earned the relaxation and unfettered existence which is now mine. To top it off, the NHL will be starting on January 19th – and the doggies and I can cheer and dance to our heart’s content without worrying about disturbing anyone’s sleep.

How can I not SMILE?? Sharing it with you, of course! Sending a hug with that!!

Luv from The Bush in Quebec