SO – the weekend is over, and my ever solicitous children did their best to keep me from being too morose. Instead of alone time, there was soon a houseful of caring people. It was all good; much action with the Rug Rats showing off for visitors, Smooch giving chase as they ran to and fro, the table laden with delicious food prepared by my youngest son, who decided to stay here instead of attending his planned activity. His lady had questioned my hiding and weeping in my office Saturday morning, worried that it was something she had done. Her eyes filled with tears as I explained how much I was missing my bro; I knew her gentle heart would understand, and that she was more than willing to join the others in offering me comfort.
Even with all the attempts to distract me, there was still no way I could sleep until that anniversary hour of his crossing over was passed. It was nearly 4 AM on Sunday morning before I could make peace with my emotions, close my eyes, and welcome the ever elusive Morpheus.
The snooze didn’t last long; the energy of three young lads is not ideal for relaxation, and they are very early risers. What’s more, their Daddy was away for his second day in training, and even if Mommy did her best to keep the noise to a dull roar, well...it was just Mommy, after all. Sometimes gentle hearts need to be steeled.
We’re working on it.
Lately, Mommy has been spending most of her time here with us. It didn’t take long for me to realize that a huge part of the problem in her family was caused by the interaction between her and the boys. Those Rug Rats were running her life, draining her energy as children being brats can do, and leaving little room for a decent ‘couple’ relationship.
I have no problem with noise – yelling and laughing and running and some squealing are par for the course. In fact, I’ve been known to join in! However, I can’t accept disrespect, temper tantrums, and especially constant SCREAMING when wishes are thwarted– and this one day, it was all I was hearing. Mommy repeatedly asked them to stop. It only got worse. Finally, totally exasperated, nearly in tears, she walked 5 year old Bali to the bedroom and told him to stay there. What a scene followed! That lad’s pitch can shatter a wine glass, I swear!
Mommy came back downstairs immediately, trembling, telling me she would ignore him and he would stop after awhile. WHAT??? When either she or my son was around, I’d been attempting to stay in the background concerning any decisions or discipline for the kids, but I couldn’t take it anymore.
“No!’ I said. “He has made it unpleasant for everyone in the house whenever you are here and his Dad isn’t. What he is doing now is unacceptable, and now the baby is imitating him. We’re in for a long haul if we’re to all live together. The children will not control THIS home!!”
The lady is everything I believed she was. I know how differently she was raised, how difficult it is to accept that maybe some of her convictions are wrong, and then to take action accordingly...but that is exactly what she did.....and it worked...and she has continued doing it. The Rug Rats are responding, must faster than she expected. Of course! They are only acting with her now as they were already doing with their Daddy and Mémère – like happy, secure children instead of spoiled, little tyrants.
I cared for this girl before, and I find myself respecting her more with each day she is with us. I can see so much of what made my son fall in love with her.
Her character and present attitude increases my certainty that this family is going to adjust just fine! And that thought makes me SMILE!
Luv from the Bush in Quebec.
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