YOU GOT HAIR!!!

It happens in every family. An event occurs, usual spontaneous, from which is born a saying; something only the people who were present at the time will understand when hearing the phrase years later. In a family as large and as close as mine, we have many of these moments; a slew of inside jokes that will last a lifetime. I’m going to share with you the most recent one.

We were sitting around the remnants of the Thanksgiving turkey, all of us laughing at a story being told by our born comedian, my oldest son Bow. The children were running back and forth, now and then stopping to lean on a chair or against one of the adults, listening in for a bit before scampering away to play again. At this particular moment, Bow emphasised whatever he was saying by uttering a swear word. Amid the gales of laughter, a small voice piped up, "Uncle Bow, you just said a BAD word!” It was my 5 year old grandson, N., who, unnoticed by his uncle, was on the chair right beside him, and was now looking at Bow with censure in his eyes.

Bow threw me a “Oops!” glance. I raised my eyebrows, but remained silent. What would our master of improvising come up with? It took only a second, then, his expression dead-pan serious, he launched into his explanation.

“True, N.,” he answered his nephew. “But Uncle Bow is allowed to say those words now and then because….” We waited in anticipation. Bow rubbed his hand over his bald head as he continued, “well, because I’ve got no hair.”

There were sounds of stifled laughter, and throat clearing, everyone watching N.’s reaction. He was gazing at his adored uncle, his face expectant, listening intently.

“You see, “ Bow leaned over as touched N.’s short locks. “You can’t say those words, because you DO have hair! One day when you’re bigger, and IF you’re bald like Uncle Bow, then you can say them sometimes. Not all the time, mind you, and only if you have no hair…and even then, only sometimes.”

N.’s big brown eyes scanned the table, looking at each one of our heads.

“That’s right, N.!” his uncle exclaimed, knowing the reason for the scrutiny. “They all have hair! The only one allowed to say bad words here is me, your Uncle Bow!”

The laughter was rampant then, and I heard N.’s dad, although just as amused as the rest of us, trying to tell his son that it wasn’t true, nobody should swear, Uncle Bow was joking. Too little, too late.

N., of course, told all this to his mom the next day. She, too, tried to warn him that his Uncle had been pulling his leg. No-one should be swearing. Little did she realize that the trend had been set.

It was a week later. The house was full of family again, this time for Halloween. My daughter and I were playing with the children and, as she turned back towards me, Shan banged her knee on the coffee table. “Ow, sh*t!” she moaned. She immediately caught herself; her hand came up over her mouth and she looked around to see if any of the little ones had heard her. Who else was right there, his eyes wide as he stared up, but N.! She looked at me, at a loss for words.

“Hey!” I told her, pointing to her head. “You can’t swear – you got hair!!” N. nodded his agreement, and repeated it loudly. We waited until we walked back to the table before grinning at each other. “That crazy Bow!” Shan laughed. “This one is going to stay!”

So true! And I can picture it now: somewhere, sometime, somebody swearing for one reason or another, then scratching his head in confusion when a little finger points at him and he is told, “Hey! You can’t say that. You got hair!”

It’s one of those moments where you just have to SMILE!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.