THE BREAKFAST EPISODE

Oops!!


“Bali, don’t open that door.” My five year old grandson stood there, his hand on the knob, and asked the inevitable question.

"Why?”

“Look at Smooch and Grump. If you open it, they’ll both come rushing in here and you could get hurt.” Bali looked through the glass door. He studied the two pit-bulls, each of them at least as big as he was himself. They were staring back at him. Having imparted the warning, I turned back to the stove to continue frying eggs for breakfast. I should have known better.

If it had been the oldest boy, the very timid Nalou, no doubt my words would have had impact. But it was Bali – and he’s fearless. He also ‘pushes the envelope’. Even aware there’s a 90% chance that he’ll be scolded for it, he’ll try anything once.

Sure enough, I heard the scramble behind me. I whipped around to see
1) the two dogs barreling through the door;
2) The door’s impact pushing Bali backwards;
3) Bali getting stuck between the door and the love seat;
4) The child’s eyes grow very round and double in size;
5) Grump keep coming, but Smooch stopping right in Bali’s face.....

and giving it quite the wash!!

The top of Smooch’s head comes just under Bali’s chin; easiest licking access one could find, and Smooch took full advantage of it! Although at first startled, the boy had recovered, and was giggling and squirming and trying to get away - mission impossible backed into a corner the way he was.

The pit puppy was dancing in excitement. When Grump decided to join the play, I forgot about the eggs, and hurried to step in before things got too hectic. I hadn’t been kidding when I’d told him he could get hurt. He is such a little guy, no match for two massive, rambunctious doggies, no matter they don’t mean to harm him.

Grump obeyed immediately when I yelled “Stop! Out!”. Smooch, possessed with an attitude similar to Bali, was not paying attention, and I had to grab his collar and literally pull him away to shove him through the door before closing it swiftly behind him. I looked down at my still giggling grandson. When he saw my face, his smiles changed to ‘Oops!’ (I’m not sure how many times a day I hear him say that!).

I pointed to the breakfast table, not saying a word. Bali, aware that he was in doo doo, and biting his lip in an attempt to be as serious as warranted by the occasion, heeded my signal this time. He walked towards the table where his two brothers waited, both awestruck by the daring of their sibling....and laughing uproariously now that any perceived danger was over. He had a parting shot, of course. “See, Mmère? Smooch didn’t hurt me!”

Did I tell you I forgot the eggs frying on the stove?

Two hours later, after re-doing breakfast, completing the teeth-brushing detail, the dressing, the helping downstairs, the going back up to change because Bali, deciding to pee outside, had aimed his stream at his older brother’s shoes; then fixing into car seats, the chatty ride to the day care, comforting two year old Tao who didn’t WANT day care, and on the way back home, answering a minimum of 20 ‘why’ questions from Nalou...I was ready to begin my workday.

“Nalou, you’ll have to amuse yourself quietly for a couple of hours,” I told my oldest rug rat. “Mémère has alot of work to do today, and I’m already starting late.”

“Why are you starting late?”

I should have expected that response. There was some irritation in my tone when I answered him.

“Because there was lots of action this morning to get you all fed and your brothers off to daycare,” I said. “Mémère isn’t used to this. We’ll have to learn to streamline our mornings, so that preparation won’t take so long.”

My grandson lifted his nose and sniffed the odour still present in the house.

“Well, you could start by not burning the eggs the first time,” he suggested.

Did I SMILE? Hell, no – I laughed outright!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

I CAN REMEMBER....

Bali, the wildest of the rug rats


It was a walk down memory lane.

In this particular store, I am usually in the pet section, buying dog food, or treats, or toys. Yesterday I was strolling the baby area: bibs, plastic spoons, soothers, security gate...and all those cute outfits that will make any mom or granny go “Awww. So cute!”. In spite of temptation, I didn’t buy clothes, but the basics that every house with a baby could need: shampoo, and soap, fever syrup, wipes – all those things I haven’t bought for 30 years; all those things that I just know my son will forget to pack whenever it is our turn to keep the boys.

From there I went for groceries. Once again, memories came flooding back. Shopping for one, and mostly organic foods, is much different than for a young family. Trying hard to recall what my own children had enjoyed, I went from aisle to aisle; the end result was a full cart and a whopping amount to pay the lady at the checkout. My son didn’t even raise an eyebrow when I gave him the bill later; apparently it is normal costs to feed a family of five.

On the way home, I stopped at one of my daughter’s friends. She runs a daycare, and had an extra high chair and potty to lend me. After things were set up back at the house, I looked around and marveled at how different the rooms looked. Any breakable decoration had been put away; there were toys and books and kiddie stuff here and there. Even the feel of the place has changed. Although only the doggies and I were home at the moment, one could sense that silence and serenity has given way to giggles and noise and lively action.

Hmmm. Was I ready for this?

Jo had left just before noon, taking the rug rats to spend the day at his dad’s lake. He would be staying there for supper. I suspected that he wanted to give me some space to gear up for days ahead. This week I’ll have the boys to myself while he is at work, and he is very aware of how much my routine will be altered. I was beginning to realize it too. Occasional babysitting does not require the same energy as living nearly full time.

When they did arrive, it was quite late. Jo came up the stairs carrying a very sleepy Bali. Knowing that he would have to go back down for the baby, I held out my arms, and the wildest of my grandsons came to me easily, all cuddly and sweet. I stole at least 10 kisses before we made it to his bed. With one last hug and a little boy grin, he turned over and slipped into dreamland. I tucked the blankets around him, and doubts about our ability to make this work disappeared. I leaned over and gave him one more kiss, and I SMILED.

Luv from The Bush in Quebec.

THE FIRST DAY

“We’re staying here, Mémère! Can I have some ice cream?” Five year old Bali smiled up at me.

“Mommy and Daddy are in separation, so we’ll be living here sometimes now.” Nalou added his comment calmly. It was late Friday night. My son had just arrived with the boys after a day with friends at the lake. The two oldest rug rats were with me in the kitchen; Daddy had carried the sleeping baby upstairs to bed.

“No ice cream before bedtime, Bali,” I answered him. “But Mémère has other snacks.” I motioned them to come closer so that they could choose. I put my hand on the oldest boy’s shoulder

“That’s okay, Nalou. Mémère is alone here, so it will be nice to have you guys around. The house is big enough – we have lots of room.”

“And we can run and run!” piped up Bali. He had made his choice and stood eating it, grinning from ear to ear.

Nalou had started eating too. The more serious of the two, he thought for a moment, then added “And Smooch will learn to play with us.” We turned to look at the pup. He was standing on the gallery, staring inside, his tail going a mile a minute. His habit of jumping up when he is excited would keep him out there for now. My son and I had already decided that we would introduce the rambunctious and very big puppy slowly, not only to keep the boys from misunderstanding his intentions and learning to fear him, but also to avoid any accidents. With Grump there was no problem; he was gentle, and the rug rats and he already knew each other.

We chatted about their afternoon for a short while before their dad called them up to bed too; nothing more was mentioned about the separation. My son looked exhausted when he joined me afterwards. He had worked long hours all week, there was the energy required for tending the children, and his emotions are on the edge with the change forced upon him. When a text came in from his ex-lady, telling him she wanted to meet him for discussion, he shook his head.

“I’m so damned tired,” he said. “But she’s insisting, so I’d better go.”

“No!” This from the mother who swore she would not get involved. I handed him the phone. “Call her and tell her to come here. You’ve had the boys all day. You can talk in the living room – it’s private – and you are too beat to drive. She’s been on vacation all week.” When he hesitated, I thrust the phone closer.

“Call!” I repeated. He did. She came, and I closed myself in my office to leave them in peace.

More than an hour later, my son and I shared a nightcap, the doggies at our feet. His lady was having second thoughts; has decided that she loved him after all. He was uncertain – this has happened twice now. He’s not so ready to acquiesce this time. When he finished speaking, we sat in silence, each deep in thought.

“I’ll need to take time to think on this,” he said. At the same moment I was saying “No hurry. Take your time to think about it.” We stopped – mother and son, so much alike – and looked at each other.

And we SMILED.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

AND SO IT BEGINS...

My much loved Rug Rats


And so....shared custody has begun.

The rug rats will be spending next week with their daddy and Mémère (My good buddy, Kilroy, showed me how to spell it right). Daddy is working days, and leaves the house around 5:30 AM, which is approximately the time that Bali, the 5 year old rug rat, hits the floor running.

After breakfast, Mémère and Nalou, the 7 year, will drive the 2 youngest to daycare for 8:30 AM, then return home where, hopefully, Mémère will work while we find something for Nalou to do other than spin out his constant ‘Why?’ questions. Central vac – don’t let me down!!

At 4:00 PM, Mémère and Nalou will pick his siblings up from daycare; we’ll play outside with the doggies until it’s time to make supper, and daddy will join us at 6:30 PM. Because it is summer, there will be no homework on the schedule; only play and baths and stories until the 8 PM bedtime. Rug rats will dream... and Mémère will pour herself an enormous glass of wine.

My son is at his ‘ex’ house with the boys tonight. We only corresponded by texting, and he said that he has told the boys they will be staying here next week, but did not go into detail about their reactions to the news. Children are not so different than adults after all. I expect they, like me and my son, are just waiting to see how things work out. There’s some apprehension, some excitement, some resignation, and ideally, mostly confidence that all will be fine.

Children are fascinating, comical, sweet and, at times, little hellions. It’s guaranteed that I’ll have many stories to tell!

I sat on my gallery swing tonight, the doggies calm at my feet, absorbing the peaceful silence of the bush while analysing the situation. It ‘s as if I’m going back in time to where my house rang with the laughter and squabbling of my own 3 young’uns (and many of their friends) on a daily basis. My body is older now, but I’m pretty sure the heart is still young enough to keep up to the lads. If not, well...maybe I’ll hunt down that roll of duct tape tomorrow.

There’s a thought that makes me SMILE! Sharing it with you – one of many to come!!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

FULL HOUSE

There is a spiffy new tap in my kitchen – one of those professional jobs high enough to wash huge stew pots, with a removable nozzle that can stretch to spray whatever needs spraying with no problem. Kool! Tired as he was, my son installed it last night when he arrived from work... helped (hindered?) by Smooch, who kept sticking his head under the sink, obscuring the view and being a general nuisance. I could hear Jo’s voice as he talked to the dog, and I’m pretty sure ‘Cute puppy’ is NOT what he was saying, LOL!

We sat and chatted when he finished. My son had stopped off at his own house to see the rug rats on his way home, had a discussion with my DIL, and it looks like the separation is official now. His spirits were much higher. As he said – it was the uncertainty that was the hardest. Now that the decision is made, we bite the bullet and do what needs to be done. My DIL will be out tonight, so he’ll be staying over there with the boys. Some of the weekend will be spent childproofing this house and going over work schedules to make sure everyone is where they need to be when my DIL starts back to shift work on Monday.

A big change in our lives? Oh yes – that’s a given. Fortunately, both parents are determined that it be as easy as possible for the children, as is M’mère (me). Adapting will have its ups and downs, but everyone being on the same wavelength is already a step in the right direction.

Jo has the rug rats here this weekend, and Fred is arriving from Alberta on Friday– a short surprise visit to celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday. I guess you could say I’m going to have a full house. One thing I can guarantee; in spite of the pain brought on by such an event, there will be plenty of love spread around. That’s our family – and that’s what we do best.

And that’s why I’m SMILING!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

DAYS OF CHANGE

I heard it first from my DIL; the mommy of the rug rats. I was doing dishes when she called. What she was saying forced me to stop and sit down...and listen. I was still mulling the conversation over in my head, had only just hung up the phone, when my daughter rang. Having always been my DIL’s first choice as confidant, she would already be aware of the situation.

“Did you talk to M”?” my daughter asked. “She told me she was going to call you right after telling me.”

“Yes,” I answered. “And I don’t know what to think or say. I’ve been in that house more often lately than I ever was, and I never saw this coming.”

I had noticed that my easy-going son has been uptight lately. I put it down to his being tired from the long shifts, the hours of renovations he was doing to their home, and the never flagging energy of three little lads. Neither of the parents had much time alone together, let alone to his/her self. The latter is what led my DIL to ask for a separation. She feels that she is losing herself in all this, and is no longer sure that my son is who she wants. Apparently the signs have been there for awhile. My son, true to form, never let on what was happening. He is not one to discuss private affairs.

I picked the boys up from daycare as usual that afternoon. When their daddy arrived at 8 PM, they were bathed and the two youngest were in bed. We needed to talk, and we did; the event, the feelings, the decisions – we went over each, fluttering from one subject to the next. Or rather, he spoke, and I did my best to listen without judging and/or offering advice. Nothing was certain yet, he told me; they would take a break from each other and go from there. There was no animosity involved – she felt confused and needed space. With time, she would maybe change her mind.

And that’s the way it presently stands. My son has been staying here, and it’s a pleasure to have him around. His weekend was spent camping on a beach with the boys while mommy spent her time elsewhere. Last night, when he arrived from work, we briefly touched on making this house childproof, on measures needed for adapting the doggies (especially Smooch!) to the kids, then shelved the details for later. I could tell he is reluctant to consider that it may come to shared custody. He’s still hoping a short time apart will fix things up.

It was late when we went to bed, and I didn’t sleep a wink. It is sad, but worse things could happen. I know we can handle whatever the results may be; the bonds and love in our family, my son included, are strong. I’m also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

I went out to the kitchen for a cup of warm milk. Smooch opened one eye, and went right back to his doggie dreams. Grump got up, stretched, then meandered over to where I was sitting and put his head on my knee. Grump is very keen to whatever emotion his mistress may be experiencing.

“Well, Grump-puppy, prepare yourself,” I told him as I fondled his ears. “We did our stint alone, then along came Fred....then along came Smooch...and now a possible invasion by three rug rats!” Grump looked up at me, paying close attention.

“Now that’s gonna be Rock ‘N Roll!” Knowing it was okay, Grump wagged his tail, and I SMILED.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE...

What happened? There seems to have been a problem with ‘water runneth over’ for many of us. My taps joined the fracas yesterday. Earlier, when speaking to my Japanese daughter-in-law, she told me my son had spent a good part of his day trying to repair a tap in their downstairs bathroom – it had sprung a bad leak. I laughed.

“Weird, huh?” I answered her. “A couple of my writer friends on Blogit had the same thing happen this weekend!” Me and my big mouth!! It wasn’t even an hour later when...... I had dishes piled up, so turned on the tap to get them washed. Water sprayed all over the kitchen! Eek! I can see where the seal is broken – but there was nothing I could do about it at that time of day, except shut the darned thing off, tie a rag around it (to remind me not to turn it on again) and wait for my son to come and repair it tonight. Still – it’s small potatoes compared to Corbin’s washing machine problem. It would be interesting to take a survey and see how many others across our countries had a similar event, LOL!

I spend most of Sunday snoozing off and on, so if anything new happened, I’m not yet aware of it. Not being used to going out so often, plus the usual lack of normal sleep, caught up to me. It was short naps, broken only by some cooking and brief walks with the doggies. The heat outside played its part. The older I get, the less my endurance for high temperatures. I’m all for siestas on hot days!

It’s Monday morning – the beginning of a very busy week, so I’ll get to it. Wishing you all a great day, folks; starting it off with a huge SMILE!!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.