EVERYONE'S A CRITIC!

“I’ve been reading your Blog.”

I looked up in surprise. First of all, where did she get the address for my Blog? And secondly, why would she read it? She’s merely an acquaintance, a friend of a friend, and we don’t particularly like each other.

Fortunately our paths don’t cross often. Today I had decided on spur of the moment to stop and have breakfast in the small restaurant where our mutual friend is a waitress. The rush hour would be over, and I hadn’t been there for at least a year. My friend was delighted, and was sitting with me enjoying a chat over coffee when L. walked in and joined us at the table - without asking. Still true to character, I noted silently. She had waited until our friend got up to serve new clients before making this statement. I’m sure she saw my expression for what it was, and she sat expecting me to say ...what?

No way, baby! I was thinking.

What I said aloud was “Okay.” The tone had nothing in it to encourage further discussion, but I could see she wasn’t going to let it lie.

“It’s like Mary Poppins,” she started. “All fun and games – nothing serious. Nothing real.”

Nonchalance was the way to handle this. With toast I wiped up what was left of the egg on my plate, then took a bite, chewing slowly, swallowing before smiling at her.

“Fairy tales.” I agreed. She was relaxing back in her chair.

“Not even,” she countered. “A good fairy tale could make you money.” Now she put her elbows on the table and leaned towards me. Her gaze was direct and bold. “I remember reading your articles about the elections a few years ago. THAT was more like writing!!” Talk about being astonished! I hadn’t finished deciding if this was a backhanded compliment or not, and she wasn’t going to allow me the time to contemplate it here.

“You used to have an opinion.” She added.

B*tch!

“I still do,” I snapped back “and it’s that life is good!”

“Dream on,” she sneered. “And if you really think that, prove it to us. Show us some bad, then convince us that the good is better...is stronger.” Then with more intensity, she added, “Make us wonder – question – hope! You’re feeding us only candy. How about some meat?”

WTF? I stared at her. Where was this coming from? Whatever made her think her advice was anywhere near important to me? As happens when confused, or miffed, I took refuge in sarcasm.

“Oh? And are you a writer?" I drawled. She heard what I was implying. Draining her coffee, she stood up to leave.

“Nope! More important than that.” she answered. “I’m a reader.” Her eyes flashed as she added, “And you could probably do better...but maybe you’re just too lazy.”

I’m sure my gulp was audible. Before I could gather my wits to retort, she had moved the ten feet over and was handing her bill and money to the cashier. I do believe my mouth was still hanging open when she came back to leave the gratuity on the table.

“By the way,” she said as she turned to leave. “I really do read your blog. And it does make me smile at the time...but it’s easily forgotten.” She tilted her head, and was she grinning? “Sure would be nice to read something that could keep that smile on all day!”

My waitress friend arrived at the table as L. was going out the door.

“Did I just see you give L.” the ‘bird’?” she asked, laughing.

“Damn right!” I grunted. “And that’s just because I didn’t want a fuss by throwing my plate at her head!” The turmoil I was feeling wouldn’t allow me to say more. I paid for my breakfast, and waved goodbye.

Driving home, my mind played over every word she’d said. Astonished? Insulted? Or was I a little of each? Was that what one could call constructive criticism? I suddenly found myself thinking about my brother’s life story...the one I had started to write...and should maybe continue. It certainly wouldn’t be just candy!

Oh – and if she was telling the truth, she’ll be reading this post, so... a little message: You were a b*tch! A smart one, perhaps, but still...and I’m SMILING!!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec