KNOCK THREE TIMES..........

My youngest grandson, Tao, has been sick for the past three weeks; a cold, then ear infection, bronchitis, then an array of antibiotics to which he is allergic...one thing after another. Poor baby – there wasn’t a lot of sleep for him, nor for the parents, who are working opposing shifts.

My son was on 12 hour duty Sunday night. While the maternal grandmother stayed with the two older boys, a raspberry coloured and swollen Tao, a totally exhausted Mummy, with me as driver, did the route between two hospitals....again. Lines were long, and the fretful baby finally fell to sleep in the truck, so we decided to try to wait it out until the walk-in clinic opened the next day. I left to check on the doggies, planning to return in an hour or so. My DIL called to tell me Jo (my son) was on his way home, but would have to go to back to work for 4 AM; I could snooze a couple of hours before replacing him.

When I crawled into bed it was 11:30 PM. Morpheus was waiting with open arms. I set the alarm for 3 AM. Within minutes I was out like a light.

Something woke me. The clock on the bedside table is placed for easy viewing, and was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. It showed 24:40.

What?! Was that knocking...or was I dreaming?

I was awake now, and I heard another three light knocks on my closed bedroom door.

Immediately came to fuzzy mind that it was my ex. Although it hasn’t happened lately, he had a habit of showing up, buzzed and dangerous, trying to enter the house. The restraining order I had requested only lasted the year; it was no longer in force, and he knew it.

“Who’s there?” The weight of sleep was so heavy; it was as if I had a mouthful of marbles. The door pushed opened a crack and I heard a voice, but I couldn’t tell what was said, or to whom it belonged.

Heart hammering, part anger, part fear, I threw off my blankets, stumbled to the door and yanked it open...to nothing.

Hesitating just a second, I demanded again “who’s there?”, and stepped into the hall. My heart took a giant leap. Someone was standing just beside the door, leaning back against the wall. It was dark – I could only see his outline, but I knew it wasn’t my ex.

“It’s me”, the shadow said.

So confused with sleep, still angry that I had been wakened, but ...did I recognize that voice?

“Bird?”

“Yeh, it’s me”

“WTF are you doing waking me up at this time?!” I headed back into my room, b*tching loudly about having my sleep disturbed... then realization swamped me.

Bird!!!!!!!!

I whipped around back into the hall. He hadn’t moved.

“Is it really you?” I couldn’t breathe around the lump in my throat.

God, yes..... Please!

I sensed rather than saw his nod. I threw myself into his arms, and we hugged. I wasn’t hugging air...it was solid, and he was hugging back. It was warm, and it was real. We stood hanging onto each other tightly for long precious minutes.

There are no words to describe the joy.


Arms still around each other, I dragged him to the kitchen-sitting room. I wanted to see him. We sat one in front of the other on the love seats, his and mine, and I listened to what he had to say, still in awe that he was here with me. At one point he apologized for having frightened me.

“I didn’t want to be standing there when you opened the door,” he said. “I don’t know what I look like. What do I look like?”

“Good!” I replied. “You look really good, Bird!” It was true. I studied him attentively. He was dressed in a winter jacket, jeans and boots. He was the same size as before the cancer had ravaged his body. Although his skin was as white as milk, and his eyes had slight dark hollows underneath, he looked better than I had seen him in years.

“Can you see yourself if you look in a mirror?” I asked. “We can go to the hallway where the big mirrors are. Or stand up and look at your reflection in the window. You’ll see...you look really good!”

He was halfway standing, turning to look in the window, when the telephone rang.

My son tells me that I answered on the first ring. It was 1:20 AM when he called to tell me that he had been summoned back to the shop. A machine had malfunctioned, work was stopped, and he needed to repair it as soon as possible so that the employees could continue. I had to replace him earlier than planned.

I hung up the phone and got out of bed. I drank my coffee sitting on the loveseat where Bird had sat...remembering...reliving it over and over again, so terribly, terribly grateful, feeling how warm he was when we had hugged...

A dream?

Of course. Except....when I went into my bedroom, the door into the hall was open.

I have closed that door automatically every night since the arrival of Smooch. I don’t want him messing on my hardwood floors.

What’s more – my room smelled like Bird...his illegal Indian cigarettes. Those cigarettes have not been smoked in my house since last October.

Ecstatic is what I am. Walking on Cloud 9!!! And so SMILEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sharing with you. And whether you think I’m off my rocker or not, the SMILE is sincere and so, SO HAPPY!!! I hope you grab it when it’s passing.

(What if I’m right???)

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.