THE DAY AFTER...

Bird & I with our younger brother, Pody, from NB. Pody's birthday is Jan. 7th, and this one we celebrated together. Like a 'Christmas in July' thing, LOL!

I’m still a bit woozy. Once upon a time I could do a tequila fest and bounce right back the next day. Ha! The old gray mare ain’t what she used to be, and that’s a sorry fact.

However, there are no regrets. Suzie and I spent the night listening to Bird’s music, singing along, dancing some; putting our heads down more than once and having a cry; remembering different nights when the three of us had celebrated together and dissolving into laughter; wishing we could have had more time with him, but realizing that what time we did have was good, and being thankful for that. Neither of us is new to loss. We are both wise enough to know that nothing...or no one.... lasts forever.

The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:30 AM... the 26 ounce tequila bottle had a very thin layer of liquid on the bottom, and the bag of empty beer cans looked too full. I can’t recall the walk from the table to the couch. I’m not quite sure at what hour that happened. Suzie woke me when my son called much later. I was astonished when he told me it was 2:30 PM. Our conversation is hazy – I’m sure he’ll tell me today exactly what was said.

We managed to put away an afternoon breakfast, then I thanked her and hugged her goodbye. I drove home to be greeted by an ecstatic Grump, and a laughing grandson. Apparently we had phoned him at 3 AM to inquire if Grump was okay. Hmmm....

I did manage to get some housework done...nothing too taxing...and baked some muffins for my grandson. I drank gallons of water, nibbled on salty foods. By the time I settled in to watch the Habs game (they won!!), I was beginning to feel slightly human again.

A drunk isn’t always the answer. Sometimes though, we need to let our guard down – to crack the invisible shield covering our heart. I was overdue, and well aware of that. It wasn’t something to undertake recklessly – I knew it would be safe with just Suzie and I, staying at her place. When I woke, in spite of a huge hangover, I felt as if some weight had been lifted from my gut. The pain is still there, but the edges are dulled. Being able to wail my outrage at Bird’s leaving let some of the poison out.

Toronto Maple Leafs was Bird’s preferred hockey team. They beat the Detroit Red Wings last night (Nautikos must be happy!). Sam444 and I were doing our regular texting of play-by-play during the game, and she, although an avid Wings fan, gracefully conceded that the Leafs win was okay – it was for Bird – then added...’only this year'. I can picture his face on hearing that...and his acceptance of Pat_B’s pronouncing January the 6th as being the official ‘Bird’s Day’. He would love it all, and he’ll be SMILING!

I’m SMILING too, and away it goes, up and out into cyber-space, winging its way to y’all!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.