DAYS OF CHANGE

I heard it first from my DIL; the mommy of the rug rats. I was doing dishes when she called. What she was saying forced me to stop and sit down...and listen. I was still mulling the conversation over in my head, had only just hung up the phone, when my daughter rang. Having always been my DIL’s first choice as confidant, she would already be aware of the situation.

“Did you talk to M”?” my daughter asked. “She told me she was going to call you right after telling me.”

“Yes,” I answered. “And I don’t know what to think or say. I’ve been in that house more often lately than I ever was, and I never saw this coming.”

I had noticed that my easy-going son has been uptight lately. I put it down to his being tired from the long shifts, the hours of renovations he was doing to their home, and the never flagging energy of three little lads. Neither of the parents had much time alone together, let alone to his/her self. The latter is what led my DIL to ask for a separation. She feels that she is losing herself in all this, and is no longer sure that my son is who she wants. Apparently the signs have been there for awhile. My son, true to form, never let on what was happening. He is not one to discuss private affairs.

I picked the boys up from daycare as usual that afternoon. When their daddy arrived at 8 PM, they were bathed and the two youngest were in bed. We needed to talk, and we did; the event, the feelings, the decisions – we went over each, fluttering from one subject to the next. Or rather, he spoke, and I did my best to listen without judging and/or offering advice. Nothing was certain yet, he told me; they would take a break from each other and go from there. There was no animosity involved – she felt confused and needed space. With time, she would maybe change her mind.

And that’s the way it presently stands. My son has been staying here, and it’s a pleasure to have him around. His weekend was spent camping on a beach with the boys while mommy spent her time elsewhere. Last night, when he arrived from work, we briefly touched on making this house childproof, on measures needed for adapting the doggies (especially Smooch!) to the kids, then shelved the details for later. I could tell he is reluctant to consider that it may come to shared custody. He’s still hoping a short time apart will fix things up.

It was late when we went to bed, and I didn’t sleep a wink. It is sad, but worse things could happen. I know we can handle whatever the results may be; the bonds and love in our family, my son included, are strong. I’m also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

I went out to the kitchen for a cup of warm milk. Smooch opened one eye, and went right back to his doggie dreams. Grump got up, stretched, then meandered over to where I was sitting and put his head on my knee. Grump is very keen to whatever emotion his mistress may be experiencing.

“Well, Grump-puppy, prepare yourself,” I told him as I fondled his ears. “We did our stint alone, then along came Fred....then along came Smooch...and now a possible invasion by three rug rats!” Grump looked up at me, paying close attention.

“Now that’s gonna be Rock ‘N Roll!” Knowing it was okay, Grump wagged his tail, and I SMILED.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE...

What happened? There seems to have been a problem with ‘water runneth over’ for many of us. My taps joined the fracas yesterday. Earlier, when speaking to my Japanese daughter-in-law, she told me my son had spent a good part of his day trying to repair a tap in their downstairs bathroom – it had sprung a bad leak. I laughed.

“Weird, huh?” I answered her. “A couple of my writer friends on Blogit had the same thing happen this weekend!” Me and my big mouth!! It wasn’t even an hour later when...... I had dishes piled up, so turned on the tap to get them washed. Water sprayed all over the kitchen! Eek! I can see where the seal is broken – but there was nothing I could do about it at that time of day, except shut the darned thing off, tie a rag around it (to remind me not to turn it on again) and wait for my son to come and repair it tonight. Still – it’s small potatoes compared to Corbin’s washing machine problem. It would be interesting to take a survey and see how many others across our countries had a similar event, LOL!

I spend most of Sunday snoozing off and on, so if anything new happened, I’m not yet aware of it. Not being used to going out so often, plus the usual lack of normal sleep, caught up to me. It was short naps, broken only by some cooking and brief walks with the doggies. The heat outside played its part. The older I get, the less my endurance for high temperatures. I’m all for siestas on hot days!

It’s Monday morning – the beginning of a very busy week, so I’ll get to it. Wishing you all a great day, folks; starting it off with a huge SMILE!!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

MOVING ON

Photo courtesy of Photobucker msbookes


In keeping with the action going on around here lately, the afternoon found me sitting on an outdoor terrace, having drinks with some friends I hadn’t seen for ages. I ran into them on my way back from a client visit. I stopped at the store to buy dog food and wow – fancy meeting you here and how’ve you been? We spent a pleasant couple of hours together, rehashing old times....instead of sitting at my computer working, which is what I am supposed to be doing on Friday afternoons. That was it – the day turned out to be a business holiday!

Saturday already had an afternoon party planned. My Cuban friends’ oldest son was celebrating his birthday. There was an abundance of food, wine, music and laughter and once again, more friends that I haven’t seen for such a long time. We gathered outside on the edge of a small lake. The geese that live there didn’t seem at all bothered by the noise we were making. It was well after midnight when I got back to the house, where two doggies gave me an exuberant welcome, followed by an equally exuberant “Please hurry – we need to GO!!”

Armed with flashlight and coffee, I strolled along the lane while my beasts roamed the lawn and the bush. I could hear, but not see, the intense sniffing investigation as they covered their territory. Every five minutes or so, one of them would be back to nose my hand, reassuring me of his presence, then was off again into the night to continue the task. It was a beautiful evening; the sky brimming with stars, a cool breeze ruffling my hair and that pervasive calm of my quiet bush.

I cut the walk short, because I was so very tired, but a good tired. The Jacuzzi ritual was skipped – it was straight to bed.

The past month has been hectic; full of activity and friends and much play, and I’m loving getting back into it. My mourning isn’t over, this I know, but it has drifted into its rightful place, leaving room for the other parts of life; the ups and downs, the laughter, the love...the whole kit and caboodle. I’ll take it and enjoy the ride!

When I snuggled into the warm arms of Morpheus, I was SMILING!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

FLASHBACK

My youngest son, the daddy of the rug-rats, showed up at my house yesterday afternoon with a couple of friends in tow. He was coming to invite me to a BBQ supper to be held at his friend’s house, and I decided to attend. It was a nice evening, except....

There was a man among the group – a friend of a friend – and all it took was one look at him to bring a rush of bad, bad memories crashing back. He was there with his family – his girlfriend, his 9 month old son, and her 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship. That didn’t stop him from becoming intoxicated and making a complete ass of himself. Not a funny ‘ha-ha’ ass; a surly, moody, smack on the head ass. It only took one glance to know that he wasn’t only into the booze. He was using cocaine to keep himself from falling over, and succeeded in making his attitude even more intolerable.

My son and I avoided him as much as we could, but he was, of course, in everybody’s face. His girlfriend took the baby and left for home shortly after eating; the little girl was sleeping over at the host’s house with his daughter, who is her playmate. Not long after his girlfriend’s departure, this idiot jumped into his truck and, in spite of people trying to convince him not to drive, tore out of the yard, tires squealing. There is nothing one can do to stop a man in that mental state, except call the cops, which his friends were reluctant to do. Well aware of this, I sent up a silent prayer that he would make it home safe – not for him, but for the unsuspecting other drivers he would be meeting on the road.

His girlfriend was not so reluctant. When he arrived home and started his violence, she did call the authorities and he was carted off to jail. Thank You for a swift answer to that prayer! And thank you to the hosts for refusing to let the little girl go home with him. The look in that child’s eyes when she heard it being discussed tells me that this is not the first time it has happened. I felt a hot rage start from my toes and completely engulf me. I needed to leave. My son had his own vehicle. He knew what I was feeling, so told me he would be along shortly and hugged me goodbye.

It’s been two years since I lost my closest friend, a wonderful (when sober) man I loved deeply, to that nasty combination of intoxicating substances. Trying everything in my power to help him, I lived moments of pure hell before I finally gave up the fight. The booze and drugs won. In his case, they are still winning. In my case, it has taken most of those two years to dig myself out of the dark, emotional hole it created inside. Having a natural positive nature helped, and the strength of warm and caring family and friends did the rest, but that scene last night woke some ghosts.

Once home, I went for a long stroll with the doggies. Under a star-filled sky, I inhaled the fresh air and the quiet calm of the bush. I was already more relaxed when my son showed up, offering additional support, and we sat and chatted until the wee hours of the morning. By the time I went to bed, things were again okay in my personal world.

Remembering that it was all behind me now, we were on our way back up, I SMILED.

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

CONSPIRACY!

I have the impression of having just arrived from an extended holiday, and that I am floundering, trying to get back to my normal routine. I suspect it started from Suzie’s presence, resulting in my being away from the house most evenings during her stay. This was followed by the birthday period, which seems to be never ending. I have been continually invited to drop in here and there for a glass of wine to toast the event, not counting the party itself held last Saturday. Then the gift from my oldest son and his wife was a hairdresser’s appointment. That happened late yesterday afternoon and took three hours (!!!). My daughter is dragging me to shop clothes this weekend; it’s her gift for my birthday. Are my children trying to tell me something?

I’ll tell you what I think!! It’s a conspiracy! My family and friends are determined that I no longer “hole yourself up in the house, with just work and doggies”, as they state I have been doing for so long. I believe they got together, decided to allot me some time to recuperate from the hectic and emotional upheaval of the past 4 years, and now, as far as they’re concerned, the period is over. It’s no longer okay to just keep keepin’ on.

I guess I started the ball rolling myself, although totally unaware of what I was setting in motion. I casually mentioned to my daughter that I’ve been chatting to a couple of fellows off and on since a month or so. Both my cousin and step-sister were gung ho about the internet dating sites they had used. After one of their conversations, on one of those sleepless nights, whether from boredom or curiosity, I logged into a couple of the sites to check out the action. After reading for a bit, I decided to set up my profile and see what would happen. The least it could do would be to give me people to chat with in the middle of the night, and I might even get a story out of it! I was pleasantly surprised when, weeding through numerous hits by professional players, I found myself conversing with some people who were sane, were interesting, and were there simply to meet new people outside the bar scene.

On hearing this, my daughter’s expression resembled that of Smooch when you show him a new ball. Oops, I thought. What did I just do?

It’s obvious that she immediately contacted her brothers, maybe some friends too, and that’s where the conspiracy was born! They were going to get their mom back to an active Life; to the same person they knew a few years ago...or something along those lines. My agenda is peppered with social engagements. That’s something I haven’t seen for a good while. I feel a slight nudge of panic as I search the pages for a quiet night at home with my doggies.

I’ll go along for the ride...for now. I must admit I am enjoying it – the call to action has always held an element of excitement. It’s one more reason to SMILE!

And there it goes – cybering its way to y’all! Will be watching for yours in return!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec

SIMPLER THINGS

Photo courtesy of heckyeah81 on Photobucket


Hmm...yes. Birthdays. Even though we celebrated last Saturday, today is the real one.

It was 2:30 AM. I fell to sleep as I was trying to remember if my mom had ever mentioned what time I was born. She did say that I arrived very quickly, making my appearance on the elevator ride towards the delivery room, but if she told me the time, I’ve forgotten. Not that it matters; I’m here anyway, and I’ve been here one more year today.

If I was still a child living on the farm, I would be very excited this morning. There were always a few friends who were invited to my birthday party. We would play games outside under the watchful eye of my foster mother, who we called Grandma, then gather around a table to drink Freshie (a brand of Kool-Aid) and eat small sandwiches with crusts removed for the occasion.

The pièce de resistance was the cake; a round, layered white cake with sweet, coloured icing, crowned with little candles to be lit at the last minute. Surrounded by joyous sound of voices singing the birthday song, I’d close my eyes, make my wish, and blow as hard as I could to put them ALL out! Being in the place of honor insured me the first slice, but I knew I had to wait until the others were served before even thinking of taking a bite. In any case, all of us would use our forks to search for the coins which we would find in each piece. Pennies mostly, a couple of nickels, maybe a dime or two, but the coveted prize was the one quarter that had been inserted between the baking and the decorating. Finding the quarter made you King or Queen for the moment and merited applause from the group. One could buy many things with a quarter in those days. With all the present hype on health and hygiene, I can’t help but wonder how many eyebrows would be raised about that practice now. I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandma hadn’t thought to wash those coins before they were put into the cake. I do know they were cleaned afterwards by children putting them in mouths and sucking off every crumb.

The party would only last a couple of hours. Farmers have work that must be done, and children, unless you were the birthday girl, were not excluded. While the others were dispersed to do the daily chores, I was allowed to curl up somewhere with the new book I had received as a gift. There would always be one; my reputation for love of reading was well known even then.

Simpler things for simpler times; there were no clowns, nor hired pony rides, nor magicians, nor days out at a MickeyD’s or amusement parks. Gifts were often homemade, as was the food. We had just as much fun, and the memories are maybe more precious, because parties were a rare and special occasion then; not so much the ongoing events that many kids seem to thrive on today.

Before I get to sounding too much like an old fogey...my plan for the day is the minimum of office work, a start on sorting what to keep and not to keep from the closets and, for old time’s sake, some quiet hours with a good book.

I’ll be wearing my Birthday SMILE, and it’s a biggie!! Sending you your share...!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.

WHO SAID BELFRY?

One of my favourite inventions is the cordless telephone, in spite of how often I have to hunt for the darned thing when I need to use it. The reason I like them so much is that I don’t sit to chat on a phone – I’m a stroller. I can walk through every room in the house while having a good conversation. Up and down, all around I go. It’s a habit that can drive any occupant residing with me crazy, especially when I wander into the immediate area where that person is watching TV. My voice carries well too, so the combination of these things can be slightly annoying.

All this to tell you that I was having a charming conversation with a friend last night, taking my usual stroll... and something caught my eye. What was hanging from one of my lampshades? Still chatting, I edged closer, wanting a better look. Wow, I thought silently, that’s some huge butterfly!

I was engrossed in my conversation, so the first glance was just cursory. I went on by, turned and came back, passed it, maybe five or six times, each time looking at it a little longer. No –not a butterfly. Maybe a giant moth?

Finally I bent over to look at it from underneath. It was the weirdest moth I had ever seen.

“I’ve got this thing hanging from my lamp,” I tell my friend on the other end of the line. “It looks like a huge moth, but I don’t know...” While describing it to her, my suspicions grew.

"What does a bat look like?" I asked her. With her help, I determined that, yes; it was a bat, albeit not a very big one. I know very little about them. They are (were) not a creature that held my interest; in fact I was leery of them. Still, I couldn’t just leave it there, so we said our goodbyes and I stood back to stare at it. A plan of action was needed.

I have encountered bats in buildings now and then, but there had been males around to chase them away. This time I was on my own. It didn’t seem to be nervous – I had walked right up to it more than once while still on the phone. I decided to chance it staying put, and went to faithful old Google. When I typed ‘Bats in the House’, a load of information was at my disposal, and many myths died a sudden death.

The two most important points: it could have rabies (bad, but it’s rare); it eats millions of insects, like pesky mosquitoes (very, very good!). Unless there was a possibility of it having bit someone or something, just put it outside and let it go.

The doggies were outside. I brought them in through another door and shut them away. I opened all the doors and windows that led to the exterior, put on the lights, then grabbed my leather gloves and a broom. We were ready. Oops – where’s my camera? Like the phone, I can never find it when I want it!!

The dogs were making noise on the other side of the door, so I quit hunting for it, even if I really wanted a picture. Maybe I was pushing my luck. It was time to get things done.

The bat hadn’t moved. With a soft stroke, I brushed it off the shade. It fell/flew to the floor and stayed there.

"You’re supposed to fly outside!” I said. It wasn’t budging. Okay, on to plan number B.

I retrieved some cardboard sheets from my office and a plastic dish from the kitchen cupboard. Moving slowly, I put the dish over the little bat, then slid the cardboard under the dish. I picked the whole thing up in gloved hands and walked outside, then shook the dish over the gallery railing. My visitor disappeared into the darkness. I couldn’t see if it flew, or if it just sailed down onto the lawn.

It only took a few minutes to close everything up again. I kept the dogs inside. If the little creature was still in the grass, I didn’t want my hunter, Smooch, to find it. No use taking chances.

Proud of my ‘sang-froid’? You’re darned tootin’! Besides, I learned a lot from this episode, and now have a healthy appreciation of bats.

I’m even more delighted that I didn’t have to kill it. That thought alone makes me SMILE.

Sharing it with you as always, folks!

Luv from the Bush in Quebec.